Me, Bud, his sister Barb & my cousin Dick
How do I begin to tell my side of the story of our lives and marriage without first Thanking God for bringing us together, and Bud for "sticking" with me. AND of course, on here, I will have to give it in capsule form for the lack of room and boring ya. lol
I comically have said, "We said "I do!" and we DID!" and He's not dead yet! when people would ask how have you made it this far. That is pretty much true, but there is much more that went into that to be true. Love, hard work, giving, commitment and forgiveness to say the least.
We began as 2 very young people that did not know as much as they thought they did, me one month shy of being 17 and Bud just 19. Plus we were from opposite side of the poles... Me from Russian immigrant grandparents, and him from the Southern part of Illinois. YES I married a country boy to my grandma's dismay, but if she could only see us now! I do remember insisting we get married in a Church. My church was tooo 'foreign' to him, So we chose another church. And I remember thinking, whatever I say in church has got to be true, and is binding. After All God sees and knows everything and my mom is watching from heaven too. (Mom died at 31 while I was only 9)
Those vows kept us, well me I know, in many a difficult time to be sure. And there were many bumps in the road along the way. Times when I would not have blamed Bud if he had walked away, but thank God he didn't.
Golly! OUR marriage is NOT like the movies, or the songs. Not all hunky dory or satisfying. What's going on here? Got to be more! But in time I learned the value of commitment, and giving. I had a small amount of biblical learning from my few years in the Orthodox church, and it had stuck too. And when put into 'action' or 'applied' IT WORKED!! Not only on our marriage but on other relationships too. God is good! ALL the time.
When I married Bud, God gave me another mother & dad in Mom & Dad Gulley. What a blessing! He filled in the spot of my moms absence. We had our difficulties at first too, but ohhh how blessed I was to have had them in my life. To learn from watching them and listening to their stories on their lives, and the years we took care of them. To feel their love and acceptance that I was another daughter, how good is that? I was lucky/blessed here in Bud being a good person, in that, "the apple did not fall far from the tree" of Alice & Hubert Gulley.
God Gave us 3 wonderful, beautiful, completely different children. Their unique and different personalities, helped me in 'time' to learn many other good lessons on life and love too. You can only hope to train them up to be good, productive people, and that they will love you in return.
Then God "called me back" to Himself (yes I had wandered) and I learned MORE of the master designer's plan for Love, Marriage and life. Ever read His "manual for living?" Most folks call it the Bible.
I have come to believe that all of life is a classroom in the learning process of who God wanted me to become. Every now and then I would balk at the lesson he wanted me to learn, but when I finally surrendered and accepted what it was, there, there was the joy, happiness, fun, & contentment etc., that I was looking for.
God uses people and circumstances in our lives to mold us into who He intends us to be for sure. He sands off the lousy attitudes.. the grudge holding... the "I want it MY way.." & breaks down pride!
Sooo in the middle to later years my question to myself has been.. "What's the lesson here?" What's best Bud? for the kids, for the parents, etc.etc. for it is in giving that we receive. Believe it or not!
Eventually I found the Love Chapter in the Bible, (like it was lost.. haha) and began to apply that to me, where it says Love is, I would insert Mary is... oh my what a check up that is... how many times I would fail in one area or another, but... and marriage is NOT 50/50, it is 100%/100%.
(In case that Chapter is lost to you, it is in 1 Corinthians 13 - - KJV says Charity rather than Love)
If each of us will be the person that our mate needs, zeroing in less on what "I" need realizing life is NOT ALL ABOUT ME... what a change might be wrought in our lives. Remember it is in giving that we get in God's scheme of things. :-)
Soooo there ya have bits and pieces of "My side" of this 57 year marriage. And I have a goal, to beat his parents record. They were married 64 years the week before God took them home to be with Him.... We're making a good run at it, even if old Bud hasn't a clue or doesn't remember that as a goal of mine.. haha Till death do us part, can be done. :-)
P.S. the book study we are doing on the book called "The New EVE.." has surely opened my eyes to a lot I never understood and confirmed a lot that I did without knowing it was the best way... Thanks to Sandy for choosing it. EVERY woman ages 16 up ought to study that book. We never stop learning nor trying to make the "good" even "better!"
Love ya
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